Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra:Debut 4 CD Box Set
Self Released
2007
2 out of 10

According to the bands newsletter, the four CD box set includes “sixty-four tracks of mayhem”. After sitting through the first three tracks my brain began to slowly evaporate causing severe, and what could potentially become fatal, injuries. Now, in order to give a fair review I had to sit through the sixty four painful tracks one -by- one. I have never in my life been so exhausted from music.

The Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra is said to have been in the making for the last ten years. Frankly, this has been a clear and utter waste of a decade. The band includes a robot for a singer by the name of SPO-20. The second and last band member, Professor B. Miller, is the creator of the bands music, which includes the keyboard, drum machines, and guitars. Miller clearly knows how to generate catchy beats which are the bands only saving grace. SPO-20’s mechanically generated voice is completely monotone, and therefore cannot follow along with the music’s rhythm. It is safe to say that SPO-20 is responsible for putting to waste what could have been sixty-four incredibly put together beats.
The only upside to this downward spiral are the lyrics. Songs such as “I Stole Your Daddy’s Time Machine”, “Snowman In The Sun”, and “Balloon Animal Fetish” clearly evoke some laughter in themselves. The second CD of the box set, includes a song called “Lose Weight Now” which talks about the use of a George Forman Grille.
The only thoughts which entered my mind while listening to the sixty four tracks were that there couldn’t possibly be people who pay money for this music let alone want to listen to it in their car.
The icing to this oh so delicious cake was the fact that this “orchestra” had the audacity to include an unplugged CD. For those of you who are actually fans of this music please shoot me an email with a legitimate reason as to why that is. I am more than intrigued to meet you.  And for those of you whom take these reviews seriously when seeking advice on the good, the bad, and the ugly local bands of San Diego, this band is a complete abomination and a complete waste of time. The Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra is clearly nothing more than a concept, who by the way, charges a whopping $30 for their debut box set!

- Melissa Wells


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