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The following is an interview I did with Spazboy right after their show at Entertainment Exchange on June 17, 2000. Before you read the interview you should know that we did this while Spazboy was taking down all their equipment, and in the middle of other conversations, so that’s why it reads the way it does. I’ve tried to keep most of the side conversation to a minimum. Thanks a lot to Jay, Steve, and Mike for doing this with me!

Joel: Alright, why don’t we start off with some names:
Jay: My name is Jay, and I am the guy who sets up the PA (Guitar and Lead Vocals).
Steve: I’m Steve, and I’m the drum guy who f#cks up a lot.
Mike: I’m Mike and I’m new (bass).

Joel: Okay, so Derek left a while ago, and what happened to Josh and Jacob?
Jay: Um, they just lost interest I guess, I don’t know. We don’t actually know the whole story.
Steve: Josh called us today and was like, “Steve do we have a show?” I’m like, no, no shows for Josh.
Jay: He moved and doesn’t have a phone, so we haven’t actually talked to him about what’s going on. All we know is that he isn’t where we are.

Joel: So when did Steve come back?
Jay: Steve came back when Derek left, coincidentally, or maybe it’s not a coincident.
Steve: Well for safety reasons it is.
Jay: No, Steve wanted to come back even when Derek was still in the band.
Steve: I just wanted to play drums again. “I quit! No, wait I’m back.”
(laughing)

Joel: You played a lot of new songs today, so what about a new album?
Jay: Oh, we’re recording in late July, it’s gonna be awesome.

Joel: So when do hope to have the actual CD out?
Steve: I don’t know.
Jay: We’re going to be recording in late July (lauging). I’m not sure when it will be out, but it will hopefully be out by fall, by the end of the fall, in time for Christmas. Because there’s a Christmas song on it.
Steve?: There will be. We haven’t played that song much. Actually we gotta break him (Mike) in.
Mike: I don’t know any of the songs.
(laughing)

There is about 30 seconds of side conversation between the members where their equipment is…

Joel: Do you guys have any political views that you care to discuss? Steve: Man, I haven’t voted since I turned 18.
Mike: I’m too young to have political views.
Jay: They’re more like social views, than political view. Like, people should not talk on car phones while they’re driving (laughing). Have you ever noticed that every time you see a fool driving, when you get up next to them, they’re always on the phone? It’s true, try it.
Steve: What about the pro-lifers song, Jay why don’t you explain that one. That would be political.

One of Jay’s friends walks by and he gets involved in a short conversation.

Someone: This is gonna be pretty hard to transcribe.
Joel: It’s alright, I’m just gonna mix up your names’ a lot. Just pretend to say, what I say you said.
Steve: (laughing) Oh, okay. Why are you even keeping the tape recorder on if you’re just gonna make it up?
Joel: I don’t know.
Steve: “This is how Spazboy really feels…”
(more laughing)

Joel: So what’s your favorite song to play, and favorite band to play with?
Jay: My favorite band to play with, I haven’t played with yet, Cheap Trick. But my favorite band that we do play with is probably the Plus Ones.
Steve: I’d have to agree.

Joel: And your favorite song?
Jay: My favorite song? I don’t know, they’re like my kids, I don’t have a favorite.

Joel: How come you don’t play “Monkey’s Paw” anymore?
Jay: How come we don’t?
Joel: Yeah.
Jay: Um, because without Derek’s it just kinda loses… It’s like at the end when we would play that big long- when we do play “Monkey’s Paw” we don’t play the end anymore. Because when Derek and I would tag-team it, it would actually help it roll along, and now there’s no Derek, it’s just me doing kereokee, and that gets old fast. So we just kinda gave it a rest.

Joel: Moving on, when you write your lyrics, where do you get ideas from?
Jay: From my head. I don’t know, it’s different for each song.
Steve: He has a long songs about hate (not racist hate).
Jay: That’s a good way to get a song written about you, is to piss me off.
Steve: How many songs do I have?
Jay: I don’t know if you have any, actually.
Steve: I haven’t collected any? Man, I should have a collection by now.
Jay: I named a song after you once, but it’s not about you.
Steve: What, “Dirty Girl?”
Jay: No, “Liquid Drummer.”

(Laughing)

(Pause)

Joel: Now for a goofy question, if you could be a superhero for a day who would you be and why?
Jay: Well, I’m gonna say Aquaman because no one wants to be Aquaman, and there would be no competition.
Steve (In an Aquaman voice): Hi Aquaman, hi Aquaman.
Jay (laughing): We’ve actually practiced that question.
Joel: Any other answers?
Steve: Superheroes, I’m not into superheroes. Like that’s for the old.
Jay or Ed?: What about Wunderwoman?
Steve: Yeah, I wanna be Wunderwoman.
Jay?: I’ll bet Mike has a superhero.
Mike: I don’t follow superheros that much. I’m not really familiar with them.
Steve: I know, like the X-Men or something like that.
Jay: We would want to be the Fantastic Four. Mike would be The Thing, he (Steve) would be the Flameboy, I would be the stretchy guy, and Ed could be Invisible Girl.
Steve: Oh I’m already Flameboy.
(Laughing)
Jay: And Mike’s already The Thing.
(More laughing)

Joel: Besides your new album coming out, do you have any future plans?
Jay (laughing): Don’t break up.
Steve: I don’t think you can really plan for that.
Jay: Our future plans are to find guys to play with when they (Mike and Steve or whoever is in Spazboy at the time) quit.
Mike: I’m gonna learn some new songs.
(Laughing) Jay: Good answer.
Steve: I think I’m going to also.

Joel: Any upcoming shows?
Steve: July 17th, at Canes.
Jay: Oh, I know future plans, Spazboy.net!
Mike: I know nothing about that.
Steve: We’re planning his plans.
Jay: Yeah, he’s our webmaster.
(Laughing)
Steve: It really sucks if it’s not in his plans. We don’t do too well on our own. There was a mock webpage Jay made up.
Jay: Dude, that webpage rocks, ok! It’s just got dead links, and it’s only half done.

Joel: Okay, any closing comments:
Steve (in a weird voice): Look for our albums in stores now. Oh, wait, it’s not out yet.
Jay: All you kiddies out there start learning Spazboy songs because you never know when you might have to join.
Steve: You never know when you’re gonna get that fateful call.
(Lots of laughing)
Jay: I’m just kidding, I’m just joking.
Steve: Maybe we should just make an (army) poster, “Spazboy wants you!”
(More laughing)
Jay: I actually thought about putting tabs up on the webpage just to train the kids to learn the songs.
Mike: Yeah, really.
(Laughing)
Jay: Then Mike can use it.
(Still laughing)

Joel: Alright, thank you very much. Do you have anything else?
Jay: Anything else? No, that’s about it, you’re supposed to have the questions.
Joel: I already asked you the questions.
Steve?: Those were good questions.
Jay: Can we ask you questions?
Joel: Sure.
Jay: Okay, I didn’t expect you to answer yes so I don’t really have any.
Steve: Are you going to come to the next Spazboy show?
Jay: How old is your mom?
(Laughing)
Steve: I don’t even know how old my mom is.
Joel: I don’t know, she has her birthday in like 4 days.
Jay: Really?
Steve?: And you don’t know how old she is?
Joel: Old, I don’t know, I can’t say that and put it on the internet.
Jay: What are you doing for Father’s Day tomorrow?
Joel: My dad’s making me do yard work.
Jay: He’s making you do work?
Joel: Yep, it’s better than a present though, because I save money (I’m really broke).
Jay: That’s the good thing though (for me), because my dad lives, not that far away, but send him the card and the conscious is clean.
Steve: My dad lives in Vegas.
(Short pause)
Steve: In a million-dollar house.
Jay: Million-dollar house?
Steve: That he got from a divorce settlement.
Jay: You’re mom had a million dollars at one point?
Steve: No that’s another divorce settlement.
(Laughing)
Steve: If my mom had a million dollars you think I’d be living here? You think I’d have those drums?
(More laughing)
Steve: I have bottom of the line everything.

Jay: Ask me how many guitars I have.
Joel: How many guitars do you have?
Jay: 7
Joel: Can you name the all? Better yet, do you have names for them all?
Jay: Yes I do.
Joel: Let’s here them.
Steve: Go ahead Jay.
Jay: My names, well there’s Kimberly, Jennifer, Tiffany, Stephanie, Jessica. I’m losing track of my guitars, who else do I have? There’s a Michelle,.
Steve: Oh yeah?
Jay: The one that you (Steve) got for me.
Steve: Oh yeah, that was Michelle, you didn’t name it after me?
Jay: Oh and there’s Keri. I think I got them all.
Joel: So which one did you use today?
Jay: That was Jessica today.
Steve: How do you come up with these names?
Jay: Just whoever I’m hanging out with at the time, there’s always different reasons for each one.
Steve: You didn’t buy one with Amanda?
Jay: Well I didn’t name one after her.
Steve: Oh okay.
Jay: I didn’t name one after Nicole either.
Steve: So why Michelle?
Jay: Because you got it for me.
Steve: You named one after my girlfriend?
Jay: Basically.
Steve (laughing): You didn’t name it after me?
Jay: Well it’s also Nicole’s middle name, so it kinda works.
Steve: Okay. You get the same for her and Michelle. (Saying what Jay would say to Nicole about the guitar) It’s for you, I swear.
Jay: It’s for you, but I don’t like your first name. (Laughing) Don’t put that in the interview.
Steve: Oh, you gotta put everything in the interview. Matter of fact, you gotta put this on the net, with audio.
Jay: That’s what his (Joel’s) thing is.
Joel: It is on the net.
Steve: Oh yeah, that’s right.
Jay: Are you kidding? No one does paper zines any more.
Joel: Actually I’m making one of those too, it’s called Split Society.
Jay: Oh, egg on my face.
(Laughing)
Joel: No, no, I’m making it with a friend of mine from the Bay Area, it’s gonna come out in July hopefully, we’re only making like 100 copies…
Steve: 100 copies, or 100 issues?
(Laughing)
Joel: 100 copies.

Jay: Ask Steve what his favorite band is.
Joel: What’s your favorite band Steve (he’s wearing an AC/DC shirt)? Steve: Um, Sad Horse (?).
Jay: Second favorite.
Steve: Um… (Pause).
Jay: You’re thinking way too hard right now.
Steve: It’s AC/DC.
Joel: You sure about that one?
Steve: I’m positive.
Jay: I don’t even know my favorite band. What’s your favorite band Mike?
Mike: I don’t have a favorite band.
Jay: He like All Things Mutant Pop (?).
Mike: Not anymore.
Jay: You used to have the whole collection.
Mike: I do have the whole collection.
Jay: But you don’t like it?
Mike: Before it went horrible.
Jay: Oh okay, before it went horrible.

(Pause)

Jay: I have one more thing to say. Watch “Beyond Belief” on Fox, it’s only sporadically on Friday nights, but it’s a good show.
(Laughing)
Joel: Any more TV plugs?
Jay: Well it’s a little too late for the “Clerks” cartoon because they cancelled it after two weeks, but that would have been a good one. “Survivor is good to see people cry when they go to get their beer after they get kicked off the island. And um…
Steve: Don’t forget “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?”
Jay: I’m a millionaire because I knew Jethro Toll won the first metal Grammy.
(Pause)
Jay: I won Violent Femms tickets because I knew the songs “Nightmare,” that’s true. And Nicole has a tape of me on the radio, being a dork. We should put that on the record, huh?
(Laughing)
Steve: That and the Rock 105.3 interview.
(More laughing)
Steve: I lost my voice before that interview.
Jay: I know, it’s basically me and Derek.
Steve: I couldn’t even speak. Well most of the time I guess Derek spoke a lot.
Jay: Derek talked a lot.
Steve: More than he should have probably.
(Laughing)
Jay: Yeah, I transcribed all the interviews we’ve done and put them on the webpage, and he read them. And then he called me and said (in a Derek voice) “Jay, when we do interviews, never let me talk, ever again.”
(More Laughing)
Steve: We tried, you know, short of like putting a muzzle on him, you know there’s nothing we can do.
Jay: Dude, he’s gonna read this, he surfs the net, he’s gonna beat you up.
Steve: Yeah, okay.
Jay: I was kinda hoping he would show up today.
Joel: I saw him at the Bosstones show, I think.
Jay: He was probably there, I’m sure you saw him.
Steve: Yeah, he’s a big Bosstones fan.
Jay: He’s been in Australia. I actually called him when Josh started to become unreliable to see if he wanted to play this show, and he was in Australia so…
Mike: So I was second choice?
Jay: No, you’ve actually been on deck forever. For a long time. (laughing)
Nicole (Spazboy merch. Girl): We’ve been waiting for that high school thing to get over.
Jay: Actually, originally we were waiting for him to get a car.
Mike: Who, me?
Jay: Yeah, and then he got a car. We were gonna call you in to play drums one of the times that we needed, but you know, we’ve always had T.J.
Steve: Hey, I’ve been in more than T.J. ok?
Jay: Well you and T.J. might be neck and neck as in actual time.
Steve: Yeah, but T.J. never committed.
Nicole: Mike, you’re not second place, you’re first runner up. (Laughing)
Jay: So if the actual bass player cannot fulfill his duty, it’s a very important responsibility.
Mike: I just have to play the same 10 songs right now.
Nicole: Let’s go Mike!!!
Jay: No, you’re gonna learn more, you at least have to learn the other 5 or 6 we’re gonna record.
Steve: There are some he doesn’t know?
Jay: Well, that he doesn’t know?
Steve: There’s like what, Christmas?
Jay and Steve together: One Runner Up, Soap Opera, Liquid Drummer.
Steve: I don’t even know the names of these songs.
Jay: And then there’s the ones that you don’t know.
Steve: There are ones that I don’t know?
Jay: There are some you don’t know, they’re from my solo album.
Steve: Your solo album?
Jay: The Jay Flounder Four (?).
Steve: The, uh, Jay Flounder Experience.
(Pause)
Jay: You (Joel) keep looking over your shoulder like you’re going somewhere.
Joel: Because I think my rides here.
Steve (in a funny voice): Can we leave now?
Joel: I’m going to be sitting at home for 3 hours typing this up.

Nicole: Ask them boxers or briefs, that’s what all the female fans want to know.
Joel: Okay last question, boxers or briefs?
Jay: Boxers.
Steve: Boxers.
Mike: Boxers.
?: What about you Ed?
Ed: Briefs.
Steve?: What kind of sicko are you?
Jay: He lifts drums a lot, so he needs the support. (Laughing) He needs the extra support. (Jay makes a funny shape with his hand) You have to get a scan of my hand right now.
(More laughing)

Joel: Alright, thank you very much guys.
Steve: Maybe we should just interview a lot.
Jay: We should be one of those bands that never play, just interviews.

Nicole: Wait, Mike, are you single?
Mike: Single, yeah.
Nicole: Single member of Spazboy.
Jay: You see, him and his girlfriend always break up and don’t tell anybody-
Mike: You don’t need to share that Jay-
Jay: So we never know if he’s single or not. So get him while he’s hot.
Nicole: He's (Mike) a babe.
Mike: Ignore Jay and just type what she (Nicole) says, that I’m a babe, I like that.
Jay: This is going to be the shortest reign of a bass player yet. He’s gonna quit after like 3 days.
(Laughing)
Mike: I already quit.
Jay: Oh, okay.
Mike: Yesterday, I’m just playing this last show. This will be my last show.
Steve: We better let this guy (Joel) go though.
Joel: Thank you.
Jay: By the way guys this is Joel.
Joel: Oh yeah, I’m Joel, I do the San Diego Punk site, www.sandiegopunk.com .
Jay: When I sent around the letter that Derek sent me he put it on his website. It’s all click here…
Mike: You didn’t put it on the Spazboy website.
Jay: I know, that’s because I was too lazy then.
Joel: It’s actually still up there…
Steve: I’ve never even seen that.
Jay: He just basically does a long-winded re-cap of the history of the band. You know…
Steve: Through his eyes?
Jay: Well, it’s pretty accurate. He doesn’t really talk sh*t or anything. It’s pretty accurate, it’s just like, I was reading it going, and well I guess if no one wants to read this they won’t but, who really wants to know this?
Joel: I read it.
Jay: I guess some people did want to know…

Joel: Alright, I think this is a wrap for real now. So thank you very much.
Jay: See you later Joel.